After a year of isolation life is starting again. Vaccinated against this covid virus, able to go out and see people. The sweet romance of life can begin again. Isolation suffocated my creative energy, and increased my brain fog. Every day felt like groundhog day, some days I didn't even want to climb out of bed. And the worst was not seeing my grandson after seeing him every other week for 5 years. My joy was crushed.
You would think having all this forced time at home I would have plenty of time to write. The truth is I couldn't focus, just stared at the blank page. Couldn't grasp words, they just faded from my brain. So worried I was starting early signs of dementia. And the RA I lived with for 43 years decided to explode in angry flareups, causing damage to my feet and knees. My world was closing.
My birthday was yesterday, another year into being a senior citizen. Great for discounts, but why does the image I see in the mirror make a lie out of the 32 years I dream of in my brain once again. How could that number double in a flash? How did life flash by? Was I too busy to realize what was happening? I believe with all the dreaded signs of age that I still want to be the romantic creator I was. With all the conflicts uprising in the world I still want to believe in love, romantic love, and possibility or world love. As I age it still seems out of my reach.
The world is opening up, masks no longer have to shield our faces. Our eyes were emoting for over a year, "smizing" at some people, frowning at others. Every day I have to adjust to the new changes that feel strange and awkward. Am I safe? Do the scientists really know what they're doing with this alien virus that varients so quickly?
Today welcome to romantic overtures again. Dating again. Hugging again. Socializing again. Becoming human again. Take it a day at a time, relax but keep one eye always alert. And pray the world can stay open my friends.