On this page I write my thoughts on Romance
I start off with the subject of music. As you can see my website has a theme based on music. Each song I selected for each page means something to me. Being romantic, you can think about a favorite song, and it always connects to a special memory. When you select the first dance song at your wedding, it's a song you remember for years, as a pleasant memory. Romantic Movies would have a different feel if the music was hard rock blasting through the speakers. The music of love is important. When I create characters I imagine them dancing around an exquisite ballroom to romantic music, and I hear the music play in my head as I type. Enjoy the music of love in your own life, whether it's love for a child, a friend, a lover, a mate or even a pet.
Eyes of Love
The eyes of love. Eyes are expressive, and called "windows to the soul". When someone is in love and they gaze at the person they love, their eyes sparkle, glow, and even seem to be smiling. You can see it and it can make you feel exhilarated too, just by being around people in love. When someone speaks to you, do you really look at their eyes, to see what they're feeling? It's always said, when someone is lying or is guilty of wrong doing, they can't look you directly in the eye. They want to cover up their lies and don't want to see the pain they caused by looking at you. True Love makes you want to explore the soul of the person you love, by gazing at their eyes. With romantic writing, besides using words, you have to describe intense emotions, and describing eye contact is a way to convey that experience. May you always look at eyes which reveal their love.
THE COLOR OF LOVE
What is the color of love? Today with all the warped personalities out there in the dating world where it's difficult enough to find someone sane for a long term relationship if you so desire, why do we still adhere to restrictions? If you love, should color be a specification? I know on the path of romance I've suffered from some horrible wrong choices, unknownst to me until disaster struck. But I believe color had nothing to do with it. As we love our own family and friends, do we select who we are with based on color? Can we ever really become color-blind, deny our prejudices and truly learn to receive and give the gift of love? When I write romance my characters are colorblind. Even though you have to describe what a character looks like for the readers, I attempt to avoid mention of color at times and let the power of love stand on its own. Look at yourself and see if you can truly deny noticing or describing a person only by color, because the color of love is indeed transparent.
9/3/07 Photo captured by friend Karen M. and used with her permission
Love in sickness and health
Expressing love comes easy when your mate is sexily attired, has perfume or cologne on, and a set of brushed pearly white teeth and has minty fresh breath. Now view a mate who's battling a serious illness. True love is challenged when you have to travel over that "bridge over troubled waters." Giving 110% when your mate can give nothing in return, is a test of love. How many people can stand up and say I truly loved when it was the most difficult experience in my life? I truly loved when I freely devoted my precious time taking care of my mother while she battled cancer. I truly loved when I took care of my ill children in the middle of the night when I was also suffering from a serious illness. I spoke to someone recently who spoke about caring for an ill one, and while they spoke I felt the love, as they shared their story. I hope you never have to be in that situation, but I hope you are with or will experience love, with someone who would gladly jump in that fire for you, or walk without resentment over that "bridge of troubled waters."
Talk Talk Talk
Anyone who knows me realizes rather quickly I love to talk, and question, and wonder about everything and anything. In a romantic relationship you'll find at first you have so much to say to each other when you desire to learn everything you can about each other. Time flys by as you concentrate only on each other. Unfortunately that part of your relationship can fade away, as time finds you sitting in front of the boob tube, or even sitting in completely different rooms intermittently shouting to each other. Romance needs to be nurtured. Take a ride together and just talk with the radio off. During dinner shut the tv off and talk. Have a date night, when you're concentrating just on each other and each other's thought and dreams. It may seem strange, you may find you have nothing to say to each other, but once you start, you'll find it start to flow. If it's difficult, select a topic and share thoughts on it, or start with the letter A, select something under that letter to discuss until you can move up to Z. Just talk, talk, talk, to nurture your romantic relationship. You may find out something new about each other.
There's a commercial, can't remember what they're promoting, but there's an elderly couple walking through a park holding hands, and this young couple are walking behind them with no contact at all. They view the older couple, pass them and reach out to each other, continuing their walk but this time holding hands. Handholding, a casual touch, but an expression of love. Do you kiss your loved one hello and goodbye, or smack fast, barely touching the skin? A hug hello, a hug goodnight? Simple caresses, not needing to lead to anything more, just used to express affection. Touch is so vital in humans, to assure normal mental and emotional health. Just remember, something so simple can really affect a change in a romance that has faded, or been placed on the back burner due to our hectic, scattered lives. Touch, its free, just make sure it's with someone you care for, and someone who desires it.
Sharing your love with others
Romantic Love. At first you desire to only be alone with each other, attempting to manage time so you can escape to gaze at each other for hours at a time. Friends are placed on the back burner as you eagerly date, alone, to learn all you can about each other. Family is pushed aside, with no time in your schedule to fit them in. Romantic love engulfs two people in their own cocoon. Slowly you start to share your love with others, though at first you stick close to each other's side. At a party where men seem to congregate with men and women congregate with women on opposite sides of the room, you'll still hug each other tight, remaining glued together. This is a part of human nature to assure a true coupling. The world just doesn't matter for awhile. Right now my daughter's involved in a romantic relationship, and has to make decisions regarding where to spend holidays, because she's still involved in the cocoon stage. And I have to learn I have to share her time. But with romantic love there's also a natural progression where the cocoon will be shed and others will be gifted with your presence once again.
Gift of Love
One first major gift of love between a couple can be the engagement ring, a symbol representing a promise to share monogamous love until death do you part. In the life the world leads now, marriage isn't the only gift of commitment. Loving relationships are varied, heterosexual or not, co-habitating or not. Still gifts are shared, and the search for that special gift representing your love can be quite difficult. Expensive isn't the true value. It's understanding each other and realizing what each other values as a meaning of love, whether its a Sears drill kit, a single rose, or even a love letter. A gift of love is remembered and cherished. In a romantic story the words have to express that gift of love to touch the readers. Reach down in your soul and remember even the simple words, "I Love You" can be the greatest gift of love.
In this day of age of texting, IM-ing, and emails, the art of letter writing has been cast to the side. The art of romantic writing has sadly gone astray. Taking time to put your words of love down on paper to share them with the one you live is a priceless gift. The romantic era of long ago was a time when men and women took special detail to literacy and sharing the passion of words for each other. "HOW DO I LOVE THEE? LET ME COUNT THE WAYS." A movie like, "THE MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE" is so poignant because of a love letter. To be romantic you only have to do something as simple as hide a little personal love note for your partner to find. Slip it in his pocket, hide it in her drawer, place it under a dinner plate. One simple rose is romantic, a simple love note is my favorite for a more personal touch. Time's moving too fast for me these days. Sometimes going back to basics can renew or refresh a romance. Take time to pause and think of the love you have for your mate and let them know in a love note. The most precious romantic gift I ever received was a framed photo of a sunset. When I accidently dropped the frame and broke it, I found a hidden love letter behind it waiting for the day when I'd accidently find it. It still brings tears to my eyes.
Celebrations, balloons, candles, cake, champagne, music, dancing, games and laughter! We can come up with plenty of words to describe our celebrations. Of course they bring back happy memories. So during the daily grind of our lives why not stop to celebrate the gift of love. You carefully schedule appointments for work and personal business. Why not schedule an appointment to celebrate your love. Date nights are particularly marvelous. You don't have to wait until the yearly Anniversary, or Valentine's Day. Love's a gift to unwrap and play with, not bury in the closet for certain moments. So go out there and celebrate!
Anniversary Celebrations 4/22/00
Wedding Day April 22, 2001
We're celebrating seven years of marriage. Friends celebrated their one year anniversary yesterday. My sister-in-law and brother-in-law celebrated an amazing thirty years on April 13. Another friend celebrates in May and another couple celebrates thirty-eight whopping years in October. These are just a few examples. In Hollywood there are celebrations when you make it through days, a week or a long month of marriage. It's a totally different world. On your anniversary it's a day to remember why you first fell in love and decided to join and share a life together. Not to say there aren't times when you question your decision, wondering if you lost your "ever loving mind" when you decided to be with this "completely insane stranger." But it all comes back to choosing to keep romance alive, that certain spark and joy you share. So laugh together at jokes only you two understand and be best friends. Most importantly maintain total respect and committment towards your mate, so you can celebrate another anniversary still desiring to share another loving year together.
4/22/08 Eight Years Of Marriage